Want to be a Proverbs 31 Mom? Stop doing this One Bad Habit!

Mother Mindset Moment.

If you haven't heard it already today: you are enough. You are an amazing mother who shows up and loves her family in the best capacity she can.

You have value. You have influence and impact on your household.

However, like many mothers, you may be struggling with an unrealistic measuring stick — a whoopin' stick — called "I could be doing more."

If this is true, put the stick down for a second and listen.

We all can be doing more! But our modern world doesn't give us the luxury of being the absolute BEST. Everything about raising children, keeping a home, and being an amazing wife (like a traditional Proverbs 31 woman) is a challenge.

And you know what? There's no manual, and we lost the help that ancient cultures had centuries ago. We are missing the life lessons and cultural family structures that would have set us up for success. So relax.

My beautiful sister, this is a systemic, generational problem.

Encouragement moment: Give yourself a break from the self-whipping. You are doing great with what you've got!

If I could give any quick advice, it would be these good habits to help you be successful:

• Learn as you go.

• Be vulnerable where you need to be.

• Teach your children along the way so they can be successful parents who honor the biblical way of raising a legacy.

Rewiring When You Know You're Not Measuring Up

Now that we've got that out of the way, I also want to validate the mothers who know they could be doing more but can't get out of the cycle of bad habits and doubt. I've been there. I'm still there in some areas of my own growth.

It's like seeing yourself through a looking glass but not being able to tell yourself to knock it OFF!

Even in the moments when you are falling short, you have to accept that you are still learning — and be quick to apologize. Whether it's to your children, your spouse, or the Heavenly Father, be quick to acknowledge that you are wrong and ask them to hold you accountable.

I would say this is the most humbling but rewarding part of rewiring yourself to be a Proverbs 31 woman, because you are blessed to see your faults, ask Yahuah to help you heal from them, and teach your children that it's okay to be vulnerable (and that genuine change is truly possible!).

This alone has an AMAZING impact that clears any tension and strengthens your family bonds — which builds your home into a place of emotional safety. (That is something we ALL need!)

Letting Go of Bad Habits to Build a Stronger Legacy

In my journey toward improving how I show up for my family, I've learned that many of my actions are a product of passed-down generational trauma, my own trauma, or what I think parenting should be based on TV.

If you are like me (even in the littlest of bits), you can see that there are other things we do that hurt our impact or stop our progress toward becoming the Proverbs 31 mom in our children's eyes.

Just speaking for myself, one of the bad habits I HAD to let go of was the "good enough" measuring tool that I used in many forms depending on the situation. Some days it would look like, "Well, at least I didn't do XYZ like I experienced growing up." Other days it would look like, "My [insert parent figure of the moment] did blah, blah, blah. I didn't do that to you, so praise Yahuah for growth." What I had to realize is that these were excuses not to change, instead of seeking the Father to change my behavior and get to the core of me.

Ouch.

Many of us pick up this behavior from our parents because, as children, we learn to mimic their rationale, their ways of coping, and how they process situations (whether good or bad). Now, they did the best they could with the tools they had. No knock to those who carried the baton before us.

However, if we are to succeed in the race toward ending generational curses, we have to understand that these "tools" stop us from reaching our potential as Proverbs 31 women. What's worse is that they continue the cycle, teaching our legacy (the children) how to measure themselves against our mistakes. (Ooouuuuuch!)

The last thing we want is for our children to focus on everything we've done wrong.

The Messiah doesn't measure us based on what we've done wrong. He looks at our works. I would submit that one of His measures, when He is looking at our works, is our hearts — how we've surrendered to Him for healing, and how we seek Him for help in parenting, because He has the blueprint for raising healthy, happy children. I also believe He's looking at our actions and how we've produced fruit with the talents He gave us.

I think of Matthew 25:14-30 (the parable of the talents), where we are given these beautiful talents to raise, to duplicate Him in the earth. I also think of Colossians 3:23-24, where we are instructed that whatever we do, we should work at it with all our hearts, as working for our Heavenly Father. How we approach the work of motherhood and stewardship tells a lot about how we view the assignment.

We have to change our thinking and switch the measure — how we take care of the talents (the children) He gave us, and how we show our gratitude toward The Most High. The best way to demonstrate high gratitude (outside of speaking His love language) is through growth and action.

Bottom line:* In order for them to learn how NOT to measure by looking down on others, we have to teach them how to use themselves as the measuring tool.*

So, here's what I want you to carry with you, sis: You were never meant to measure yourself against the mom next to you, the mom on your screen, or even the mom you used to be.

The only measuring tool that honors Yahuah is the one you hold up to your own heart — am I growing? Am I surrendering my faults to Him for healing? Am I willing to be corrected and keep going anyway?

The Messiah isn't grading your clean floors or your perfect days; He looks at your heart and at how you're stewarding the little ones He entrusted to you.

So give yourself grace, stay teachable, be quick to apologize, and let your children watch you become. The legacy you're building isn't perfect. You're building a home where healing, honesty, and the love of The Most High get to live and breathe. Keep going, sis. You're doing set-apart work!

And sis, you were never meant to walk this out alone.

Carry the New Measuring Stick of Grace & Determination

Come build a safe space with me so moms you like can grow!

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Until then, I see you in the next Mother Mindset Moment.